Making connections at a lifestyle event.

As hosts of lifestyle events we are often asked how to approach people and make connections at a Meet and Greet or Party.  We feel that this is different for everyone and that if you asked 50 people you would get 50 different ideas.  The object remains the same though, to meet people and make connections that create the type of opportunities that you are seeking in the lifestyle.  Here is our list of recommendations:

  1. Dress to impress – for most people this is an important issue.  People are expecting that you will wear clean clothes that are appropriate for the occasion and setting.  You will feel more comfortable if you fit in as well.  Ask the host if you are unsure what to wear.

  2. Groom yourself - nothing says keep away like bad breath.  It is always a good idea to not turn away great connections with bad self-grooming.  Keep in mind that too much of a pleasant scent is just as bad as body odor, so keep it light.

  3. Get into social mode early – start getting into character a couple of hours before the event.  This helps you to make the transition and leave normal life’s stress at home.  Start by practicing sexy conversation with your partner, and smile while you are getting ready.

  4. Know you – if you are shy and rarely reach out, then ask the host ahead of time to introduce you to a few people.  If you feel awkward setting down uninvited you should get there early and sit down in the center of the room so others will surround you.

  5. Try to make a connection before you go - if your group has kik or a Facebook chat, try talking to others that are attending and finding a friend.  Walking into a room with a friendly face, or at least a recognizable face, is so much easier than a blind date.  Ask the host for a picture of them so that you know who the host is.

  6. Arrive on or near on time – the last thing that you want is to show up after everyone has made connections, and worse, plans for the evening.

  7. Smile – and say hello to everyone that walks in the door.  This makes you a friendly face to them.  As the night goes on they will remember that you have a friendly face and may be the conversation starter that you both need.

  8. Do not drink to excess – a little liquid courage is one thing but if you are drunk that is a turn off for most in the lifestyle.  Consent is paramount for most of us and a drunk person cannot give free consent.

  9. Be polite – a simple compliment like “you look very nice tonight” goes a long way and costs you nothing.  In our experience it is the best way to start a conversation

  10. Be gracious – if someone pays you a compliment, thank them.  Again this costs you nothing and it keeps the conversation moving forward. 

  11. Everyone is an expert – on themselves, so say things like “your hair is so cute, where did you get it done?” or “you look so tan, have you been on vacation?”  That one question can be a topic that opens them up to you and lets you find some common ground.  “We were in Vegas for two week…” now you have something to talk about. 

  12. Ask before - you touch anyone.  This is as simple as “your skin looks so soft, may I touch your hand?” or “your arms are so muscular, may I feel them?”  This doesn’t need to be awkward and rehearsed, but you do need to ask before you surprise someone by feeling their butt.  If you are touching areas of the body that are sexual, like the butt, its best to ask their spouse as well. 

  13. Are we a fit? – If you are feeling a connection than there is a good chance that they are too.  Before you assume that this is headed somewhere ask if they would like to find a quiet table to talk at, or if they would like to go to your room for a drink. Keep in mind that if this is early in the night the answer may be no because they are still wanting to be a part of the evening.  

  14. Be prepared to share – your contact information for the lifestyle.  You want to keep the connections that you worked so hard to make. Some people have connection cards, business cards with their lifestyle contact information that they hand out.  Others share kik names, and other social media contacts.

  15. Follow up – with a simple message the next day that says something positive and lets the connections you made know that you are still thinking of them.  Think of it as a thank you card from you for the time you shared.

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