Swinging for Newbies
This is one of the most important things for you to know and follow in the Lifestyle. “No means No” If you can’t say no, or accept a no, then the lifestyle is not for you! There may be lot's of reasons why a couple/person might say no. Everyone has that right. It should not be taken personal. We are all grown ups here.
Every conversation you have will not lead to hooking up. Most people enjoy talking and getting to know people first. For alot of people attraction is not all physical. Remember to be polite. Talk to both people in the couple. Don’t get too hung up on the idea of the sex. If everyone is not comfortable odds are you won't be playing!
Learn to clearly express what your desires and concerns are to the other couple. It will make for a more enjoyable experience for everyone. Be sure to intorduce everyone. You will look polite and charming, and everyone will be more relxed. When getting to know other couples: Stay away form the "Resume"! This is not a job interview. It's far more important to know what they like sexually, than what they do for a living or where they are from.
Don’t grab other people anywhere on their body. Don't lift up skirts or shirts. This type of behaivor often makes people uncomfortable, and it makes you look like you have no class. Always ask permission!!! Even if you have played with them before, that does not give you a permission for this time.
Don’t be pushy. Let other couples move forward at their own speed. If someone catches your eye, politely tell them so. Ask them if they would like to get together. But don’t hound them, asking constantly. Don’t continuely call or text them. Even if it doesn't happen right now tonight, doesn't mean it won't. Pushing and giving off a stalker vibe is not going to move things along any faster!! Remember: You're only going as fast as the slowest person. Everybody has to be okay with what is happening.
SOME RULES TO NAVIGATE THE LIFESTYLE
Under no circumstances should you ever attempt to break up a relationship.
If you make a date or plan a meeting, be there!! If for some reason plans have to change, give as much notice as possible. Don't be flakey!!!
Always keep the first meeting as a no pressure, no obligation situation. If everyone is agreeable and wants to play, AWESOME!! Always be honest though, if you aren't feeling it, or don't have an interest SAY SO!!! Don't take one for the team.
You should NEVER put pressure on your partner or anyone else to play, for any reason!!
Keep talks of swinging to those you know are swingers or those who are seeking information about the lifestyle.
Keep the information and identity of others safe and secret. Don't start telling names of people. You can discuss what you did, but not who you did it with!!!
Look your best at every meeting and event. Dress to impress! Always show up looking good, and smelling good!!
Do not be party to any illegal or unlawful activities. Always keep the image of yourself and the lifestyle community in mind.
Be friendly and polite to those you play with. Keep in mind that emotional involvement is best reserved for your spouse or your significant other.
Be respectful and polite and in all that you do and say!
Be safe and smart with what you do and who you play with.
NO DRAMA!! The lifestyle is not the place to air out your dirty laundry or unload your baggage. Keep it at home.
Don't get sloppy!! If you can't hold your alcohol be mindful of your consumption!! It's never sexy to be a slobbering drunk.